Random Realities
by Sho-Ishogi
Summary: 4 College Students Make a little Mistake and it ends up sucking them into hillarity. Ongoing


Draft A Chapter 1 Random Realities  
  
  
Steubenville, Ohio -X-men Animated series-Danger room Theme- Saturday,  
Mar 19 2002  
  
  
  
From the corner house on Lovers Lane and Sinclair Avenue, strange  
sounds issued from the basement. The kind of sound you'd expect on an  
air force base or naval vessel but coming from a small house in  
suburbia they were unusual to say the least. The sound, a mixture of  
air raid siren and small arms fire was coming from a machine that  
would be better suited for a Transylvanian lab than a basement study.  
Surrounding the machine wearing sound baffles and goggles were three  
individuals intently studying the reactions happening in front of  
them.   
  
The first with long, dark hair bound with a hair band wearing a  
WDVE Rocks T-shirt and black dress slacks, Paul Kish aka "Pakman" was  
staring intently at a computer screen watching and calling out as  
figures rose along with the whine of the equipment. The second Jason  
Cabral aka "Keep" was fiddling with the controls as the third Lauren  
Pentowski aka "Chibi-Pez" was writing down the figures called out by  
Pakman. This project, the practical lab portion, was 50% of the trios  
Physics grade at the University of Steubenville. Needless to say,  
they were all surprised when the Computer started flashing warning   
messages as the Elaborate machine began to vibrate and shake even as  
the noise level in the room started to get loud enough to be painful  
even through there sound baffles.   
  
If one had been watching the scene one would say that reality had taken   
a vacation as a brilliant flash blinded the trio and as there sight   
cleared there was a glowing rift above the machine and a rather   
striking azure haired woman wearing what appeared to be a spandex   
jumpsuit was lying on top of the table that had formally held the trios   
elaborate Physics project. All the trio could do was stare.   
  
While in the mind of Pakman only one thought got through all the   
flaring neurons, "Schwing!" Keep blinked and gave a deer in the   
headlights look to Pakman and Pez and almost shouted "It's not my   
Fault, I swear!!!"   
  
"Anyone else find this vaguely satisfying," said Pakman offhand to the   
others. "Wait! A! Second! That's Ryoko! My god, we've achieved the   
otaku dream!" Pakman practically exploded with sheer fan frenzy.   
  
It was at this point that Chibi-Pez noticed a very important point.   
"Uh, guys? I think she's waking up."   
  
Pakman paused in his mad scientist power posing to watch  
this momentous event. "She's alive! Alive!!" he said in mad  
scientist voice #23 (eureka I've achieved something momentous which  
noone else could ever do). Ryoko sighed and sat up looking at the  
surroundings. She stopped as her eyes came to rest upon the trio  
"Uh... Hi?" Pakman said rather lamely as Ryoko's eyes came to rest  
upon them.  
  
-------------  
  
4 Mad Otaku presents   
An I Was Bored And There Was Nothing Better To Do Production   
In association with #fanfics at sorcery.net  
  
An Adventure in Insanity That proves the old adage "Be Careful what  
you wish for you just might get it."  
  
Random Realities  
  
Starring: The 4 Mad Otaku   
Paul A. Kish as "Pakman"   
Jason Cabral as "Keep"   
Lauren Pentowski as "Chibi-Pez"  
Kate Yancy as "Kitten"  
  
  
Also Featuring:   
Ryoko Hakubi (Tenchi Muyo) as Herself   
Washu Hakubi (Tenchi Muyo) as Herself  
  
Special Effects by:   
Voices In My Head Enterprises  
  
Chain Reaction Ultra Destruction by:   
C.R.U.D. Inc.   
And Things That Make You Go Boom  
  
With Support from:   
FurrySaint   
Mountain Dew (original and Code Red)  
  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction all Characters involved are the  
property of their creators. Ames, Sears, Jefferson Community College,  
and the University of Steubenville are used only as set locations. No  
people, animals or celluloid entities were harmed during the Making of  
this Fic.  
  
-------------  
  
Keep once again looked to the others and said, "Just want to restate  
for the record...It's not my Fault, I swear!!!" Ryoko narrowed her eyes   
at this and stood up with no trace of her former unconsciousness.   
  
"Well now that we have that all cleared up would someone like to tell   
me who's fault it is?" Ryoko said getting right up in their faces.  
  
"Wewereworkingonthephysicsprojectwhenthemachinestartedtowhineand-  
glowedrealybriteandwhenthelightfadedthemachinewasgonetherewasthis-  
riftandyouwerelayingonthetable Ryoko-samaandthat'sallIknow" Pakman  
Micromachine-manned.   
  
Ryoko blinked a few times grabbed Pakman picked him up by his T-shirt   
and said, "Care to repeat that at less than light-speed this time.   
Pakman repeated it at normal speed. Ryoko's eyes narrowed, "Wait a   
second since I woke up I've never said my name how did you know?"   
  
Pakman said, "Follow me." The Trio and their erstwhile new companion   
trekked upstairs to Pakman's inner sanctum (aka his bedroom). Ryoko   
took a look around and gasped. The walls of the room were filled with   
wallscrolls and posters of Ryoko.   
  
Pakman, oblivious to her reaction, walked over to his entertainment   
center and placed a tape in the VCR. Up popped the first Episode of   
Tenchi Muyo and he fast forwarded to the scene where Ryoko is chasing   
Tenchi through his High School.   
  
Ryoko was getting madder and madder at what she saw in this room.   
Suddenly Ryoko's eye had locked on a Manga sticking out of the edge   
of Pakman's bed. After looking at only a few pages of "Enema No   
Tenchi" she turned and blew up the TV.   
  
The trio having momentarily spaced out for a moment suddenly remembered   
who was in the room with them. Pakman's eyes widened as he saw what   
was in her hand and thought "Who'd have thought that my only Hentai   
manga would get me killed."   
  
As Ryoko prepared to remove Pakman from existence Keep decided   
this would be a bad thing and flipped the bedspread over her head.   
The trio took off through the house at top speed.   
  
From the area of Pakman's room came a series of small explosions and he  
thought "So much for Ohio's second largest Anime collection... Well at   
least I'm alive" They dove out the front door as the Kitchen exploded   
into the Living room. They were just buckling themselves into The   
Pakmobile (Pakman's 1986 Ford Escort) as the Living room exploded   
violently into the front yard.   
  
The chase was officially on.  
  
  
  
"Well this is another fine mess you've got me into Ollie"   
-A Gruesome Time-Merciful Fate-  
  
  
  
Chibi-Pez doinked Pakman on the head. "You just had to pick up that  
Ecchi-manga, and now we're gonna die violently because you couldn't  
teach you hormones to roll over and play dead." The car shuddered at  
a near miss as it swerved violently down Sinclair Avenue.   
  
"Be quiet!! I'm trying to stay alive long enough to regret it."   
Pakman retorted dodging another blast from Ryoko who was flying along   
behind them cheerily blowing away everything in her quest to crush a   
pervert into smoking flinders.   
  
"If we get out of this alive, remind me to physically kill you." Keep   
cliched.   
  
"If you don't stop distracting me, you won't need reminding." Pakman   
said and hauled the wheel violently to the Left turning onto Mall Road.   
  
Chibi-Pez was keeping watch out the rear window. "We gained a little   
leeway but she's still back there."   
  
Pakman dodged a near miss which hit the Generator of the Ames store   
behind the Fort Steuben Mall causing it to explode violently taking   
most of the rear of the store with it. Pakman kept his eyes on the   
road but saw the smoke and flames in his rearview mirror.   
  
He then swerved violently into the Sears parking lot as Ryoko  
fired a huge blast that swept inches away from the rear bumper of the  
Pakmobile and slammed into a minivan just pulling into the Sears  
Auto-Center causing a chain reaction of exploding cars which rather  
messily destroyed the place.   
  
Pakman wheeled the car onto North Mall Drive. "That was to close for   
comfort," he said just before swerving into oncoming traffic to avoid   
another blast which took out most of the front of the Steubenville   
Library. "Well one good thing at least, there goes all my overdue   
fines."   
  
Ryoko starting pelting the road with force bolts just as the Pakmobile   
was swerving onto John Scott Rd. One of the Bolts passed through the   
rear passenger window and out the hatchback car.   
  
"Pakman, I think it's time you stopped worrying about your wallet and   
started worrying about your life. Or at the very least MY LIFE!!!"   
Chibi-Pez yelled from the floor of the backseat having lost a few hairs   
from her head from Ryoko's near miss.  
  
Pakman grimaced as the engine started to whine from being asked to go  
from cold to all out. He glanced to the rearview window again and  
couldn't find Ryoko anywhere. "Pez, I need you back on lookout. I  
don't see her."   
  
Chibi-Pez swept the horizon behind them seeing nothing. "I don't see   
her, you don't think she gave up do you?"   
  
Keep said, "If I had naked pictures of you and you found them would   
you?" Suddenly Keep who had been looking out the side noticed Ryoko up   
ahead on the right holding a blast of near Dragonball-Z proportions,   
"BRAKES NOW!!!" He screamed.   
  
Pakman tromped the brake and locked up the wheels as the blast sped in   
front of them to totally nuke most of the main building of Jefferson   
Community College. Pakman slammed his foot back on the accelerator   
narrowly avoiding a follow up to Ryoko's last devastating attack.   
"That was extreme." Pakman ignored the red light at the intersection   
and nearly got sideswiped by a pick-up.   
  
Racing down the John Scott Connector towards State Route 22 Pakman   
continued swerving madly to avoid Ryoko's attempts at righteous fury.   
"Almost to the Highway. I should be able to lose her then." Ryoko had   
the same idea and whipped a blast ahead of them which rather nicely   
took out the overpass. Pakman slammed on the brakes, "Everyone bail.   
Up the hill fast." The Trio ran up the hill as Ryoko immolated the  
Pakmobile.  
  
  
  
The Hunt   
-In the Hall of the Mountain King-Techno Remix-   
'This is the Police speaking... This Club is closed...FOREVER'  
  
  
  
The trio crested the hill just as Ryoko caught sight of them again.  
At the top of the hill they were met by a chain link fence. Chibi-Pez  
grabbed Pakman. "Great move Brainiac. Now we're..." Whatever she was  
gonna say was cut off as he smashed her to the ground as a blast  
wailed past them taking out a large chunk of fence.   
  
"Now is not the time for killing me. Run for it." Pakman said   
jumping to his feet and booking it into the Bellevue Country Club   
golf course.   
  
Seeing a stray golf cart Keep Jumped into it and fired it up. "I drive   
this time get in!"   
  
Pakman and Chibi-Pez already in back both stereoed "Shut up and   
DRIVE!!!" Keep peeled out just as Ryoko flew over the top of the hill   
and started pelting them again. One of the Shots took out another golf   
cart and blew a healthy chunk out of the 18th hole, throwing up a cloud   
of dirt that momentarily obscured Ryoko's view of the escaping golf   
cart.   
  
When she finally regained sight of it, it was a healthy distance away.   
Firing at it she clipped the roof with one of her shots taking the   
canopy right off of it. Pakman looked back and saw another blast   
heading right for the rear of the cart. "Everyone jump no way we're   
dodging this."   
  
Pakman jumped and rolled trying to come straight to his feet and would   
have made it if not for rolling up against a tree. Keep and Pez   
rolled. They stood up and grabbed the shaken Pakman and took off out   
the front gates of the park into what looked like apartments. "Come on   
we're at the University dorms. We can lose her in the Campus." Keep   
yelled to the others while running like a maniac.   
  
"I knew I should have been on Kitten's team for the Physics practical.   
But you guys just had to 'have a woman's touch' didn't you." Chibi-Pez   
panted out as the Trio continued to run.   
  
Ryoko saw the 3 ducking around buildings and decide to go higher but  
nevertheless lost sight of them for a second. Keep noticed the Gym  
doors were opened and grabbed Pez's arm and the three ducked inside.  
"I think we lost her for a second." Keep said as he sat on the  
Bleachers and caught his breath.   
  
"Now I know what everyone on the FFML was talking about when they   
harped on Self Inserts." Pakman said. Keep and Pez were about to   
pound him into jelly for this when Ryoko phased through the Gym wall   
and spotted them. "Break's over, run!!!" Pakman was off like a shot,   
shouldering the far doors open and doing a sprint that would have   
gotten him on the track team if he could have done it in high school.   
  
The three ducked into the actual class buildings and ran down the halls   
Ryoko laughing evilly behind them. "You're mine now you little..."   
Ryoko screamed and whipped another force bolt at the three nearly   
tagging Keep had not Chibi-Pez tackled him into the University   
bookstore. Pakman sidestepped in a second later being just a little   
slower than the pair.   
  
"No more running, not like its doing any good," said Pakman as he   
picked up a heavy book from the shelf to use as a weapon. Ironically   
it turned out to be the same physics book from the class that had them   
in this mess in the first place. Pakman, Keep, and Chibi-Pez each had  
themselves armed and ready and went behind the Bookshelf to wait.  
  
"Come here my little mouse. The chase is over, time for the fun  
part." Ryoko purred as she strode into the room. Ryoko phased  
through the shelf scaring the bejesus out of the Trio and Catching a  
Physics book in the noggin from Keep as a reward.   
  
Ryoko whipped her hand forward and Keep found himself with a thin   
slice in his shirt and chin and holding half of the physics book in   
either hand. She grabbed Keep and tossed him towards the checkout   
counter where he nearly brained a 5'9" tall brown haired girl in an   
"N-sync" T-shirt with denim shorts. As it was they both landed in a   
tangle.   
  
It was then that a brilliant wave of light followed by a wall of   
darkness happened. When it cleared, the only thing in the room were   
shelves of books.  
  
  
  
"Why...Because I can"   
Scene: Classified  
  
  
  
Unconsciousness is fun it lets you catch up on your sleep without all  
those disturbing dreams. Unfortunately unconsciousness does not last  
forever and our intrepid trio soon found themselves awake. Keep  
seemed to take it easiest when he found that he was strapped to a  
gurney tilted up at a 45 degree angle.  
  
Chibi-Pez woke and said, "Are we dead? We're dead aren't we?"   
  
Keep looked over at Pez and saw her freaking out. "If we were dead why  
would we be strapped down." Keep retorted. Pakman woke up and  
screamed like a little girl.   
  
Ryoko was standing right in front of him with a sardonic grin on her   
face. "That was fun. Let's do it again sometime." She then whispered   
something in his ear and he obligingly passed out again.   
  
Suddenly from behind the group, "Where in heavens name am I and why am   
I strapped to a table." Keep craned his head and peeked around the   
edge of his gurney and noticed the same girl he got tossed into in the   
bookstore.   
  
Chibi-Pez recognized the voice and called out "Kitten, that you?"   
  
'Kitten' aka Kate Yancey answered "Pez, girl, that you? What in the   
hell's going on here?"   
  
A new voice answered from the side in the shadows " I think I can   
answer that one."   
  
Pakman glanced in the direction of the voice, "Let me guess, Washu?"   
Floodlights blinked on and a voluptuous redhead appeared.  
  
"You've heard of me... Looks like Ryoko's story about you was true.  
Mind telling me why and how you kidnapped my daughter." Keep began   
hyperventilating "ohmigodit'swashuthiscan'tbehappeningomhigod" Washu  
proceeded to chibi out and snapped her fingers turning Keep into a  
small plump guinea pig.   
  
Picking him up by the scruff of the neck she asked, "Now that I have   
your complete attention, I want to know how you kidnapped my daughter   
and why?"   
  
Pez eeped and nosed her head in Pakman's direction, "It's all his   
fault."   
  
Pakman replied, "Gee thanks, Pez. We were working on our college   
physics project. It was a complete accident."   
  
Washu-chan smirked and said, "Sure you did. Mind telling me the truth   
this time."   
  
He replied, "That is the truth. We were trying to strip positrons from   
an atom using a modified particle accelerator set up in my basement.   
When we powered up the accelerator my figures show it hit the positron   
but it slammed into a negatron and there was a bright flash. When the   
light cleared Ryoko was on the table and the machine was half gone half   
destroyed."   
  
Washu thought it over for a nanosecond, "You must either be the   
luckiest moron or the unluckiest genius. A positron/negatron reaction   
without any particle shielding should have either generated a small sun   
in your 'Lab' or created a limited black hole which should have rather  
messily crushed everything in a six mile radius."   
  
Pakman grimaced for a second but then thought it over, "Maybe the   
reason it did what it did was that we got both effects."   
  
Washu smirked and said, "Mind explaining this epiphany to me?"   
  
He sweated for a second before replying, "Well, a black hole is   
theoretically a dimensional portal with tremendous energy potential.   
Throw in a small sun's energy potential and you have a working   
Dimensional gate with limited controls. Or am I just grasping at   
straws."   
  
Washu snapped her fingers and a floating keyboard terminal appeared and   
she started typing one handed still holding Keep-pig in the other.   
After a few minutes of typing she said, "I was wrong before, you do   
show some potential for being from such a backwater planet that still   
works with particle accelerators. You are some lucky ones though. The   
odds against getting that reaction are 10000/1 against. The odds of  
surviving being in the same room with such a reaction are 1.4e+13/1  
against."   
  
She snapped her fingers again and the straps on there arms opened but   
left the ones on their legs intact. "Now the only problem we have is   
that since you've been in my lab I just can't let you go."   
  
Keep squirmed in her hand and to the others surprise said, "I'm gonna  
bite your hand off if you don't change me back and send us home." She  
snapped her fingers and a pair of mechanical hands appeared from off  
to the side and grabbed Keep-pig. Another snap of her fingers and he  
returned to human form only to be returned to his gurney.   
  
"Now I'm gonna do some scans on the four of you and see what kind of  
experiments you'd best be suited for testing for me."   
  
Keep snarled at her. "First you turn me into a guinea pig then your  
gonna use me as one. When I get off this table I'm gonna..." He would   
have said more but Washu-chan had him gagged before he could finish.  
  
  
  
"The first step in becoming a mad scientist is obtaining a doctorate.  
After all no one is going to tremble in fear of Mad Mr. Smith"  
  
  
Better living through Science  
  
  
Being placed in a Plexiglas cell and prodded occasionally by  
mechanical hands was not high on Pakman's to do list but he took it as  
well as could be expected. Keep continued to rant about what he was  
gonna do to Washu whenever he escaped. Chibi-Pez seemed to be taking  
it the best.   
  
Washu had walked into her cell once again in her adult form and Pez   
tried sweet talking her. "That's really a nice outfit. It brings out   
the tone of your hair really well."   
  
Washu chibi-ed out and said, "You really think so? Well no matter lets   
get to the testing."   
  
Chibi-Pez sighed at her lack of success. "If I may ask how do you do   
that trick."   
  
Washu-chan turned to her and said, "What trick?"   
  
"You know, going from Adult to Chibi in 0 to 60." Pez replied.   
  
Washu smiled at her. "It's a genetic thing. You probably wouldn't get   
it."   
  
Pez used patented smirk #23 (Oh really) and said "Try me." Washu-chan   
snapped her fingers and a diagram appeared on a floating board and she   
began a lecture so full of techno-jargon and science that the average   
user would have quickly died of boredom.   
  
As she finished she looked at Pez and said with a wry smile "Did you   
get all of that."   
  
Chibi-Pez used patented smirk #24 (Yes, Really) and said, "So what it   
does is compress the cellular structure without loss of cellular   
integrity due to reduced surface area. It would be possible to do but   
not where I'm from. The technology just doesn't exist."   
  
Washu-chan laughed and said, "You guys just keep surprising  
me. You must have been quite the misfits on that backwater you called  
home if you can understand such concepts this easily."   
  
Pez merely sighed and said, "Maybe the other two are but I'm the normal   
one of us."   
  
Washu-chan giggled a little and then finished up her tests. "Well   
that's all for now let me know if you need anything. You've earned a   
tiny bit of respect from me. You remind me of me when I was 12."   
Washu-chan laughed wryly and left the cell, but not before putting up a   
small viewscreen on the wall.   
  
Pakman meanwhile had fallen back to sleep on his side. He awoke at a   
small noise noticed nothing and tried to fall asleep again. He placed   
his left hand over his head and his right over the arm around his   
chest. Just as he was about to fall fully asleep again it occurred to   
him that he only had two arms.   
  
A few seconds later his brain finally kicked in. Looking  
behind him he saw Ryoko's eyes gleaming a few inches away from his  
head. "Mother said I get to keep you. Isn't that great."   
  
His brain nearly shut down at this and he finally realized what Tenchi   
was feeling in the beginning of the OAV. "Just make it as painless as   
you can."   
  
Ryoko blinked a few times and said, "Make it painless? What do you   
mean."   
  
"You're here to kill me for having pictures of you 'Au naturale' aren't   
you." He asked with an expression on his face that just screamed 'It's   
all over now'.   
  
Ryoko laughed sardonically at his expression. "Oh that. Already   
forgotten. After all you didn't see me, just someone's imagination of   
what I look like in the buff. Be nice and I might let you experience   
the reality one day." Pakman's nosebleed and subsequent passing out   
brought a smile and a small laugh to Ryoko. "Oh yes my little pet.   
You are going to be such fun," Ryoko whispered to her erstwhile toy's   
unconscious form. She then left the room with a wide grin of amusement   
on her face.  
  
  
  
-The Gift of Fury-Basil Poledouris-Conan the Barbarian Soundtrack-  
"I'm sorry. But we seem to have replaced your heart with a baked  
potato. You have five seconds to live."  
  
  
  
Pakman woke to find Washu-chan prodding him and taking numerous  
samples. "Ah, I see your awake. Are you ready for some  
experimentation."   
  
He sighed and said, "If I said no would it matter."  
  
She giggled for a second "Of course not. Now put this on and we'll be  
off to the Lab." She handed him what almost looked to him like an  
unadorned EVA plugsuit.   
  
Pakman thought to himself, "If she steeples her hands and tells me to   
pilot a giant Bio-Mechanical robot, I am so outta here."   
  
She led him down an unmarked corridor to a heavily shielded room with a   
large tank full of a green fluid and two empty tanks. Pakman said with   
a sigh. "Lemme guess, your gonna put me in that tank full of green   
fluid and turn me into a whatchamacallit, right?"   
  
Washu-chan glared at him. "No, I'm gonna put you in this tank  
here," she said pointing at one of the empties then returning to the  
green tank. "This here is my Mountain Dew. You can't expect me to  
spend hours and hours in this lab without some caffeine do you?"  
  
Pakman almost facevaulted before remembering he wasn't from an anime  
and it would hurt. "I think I could easily get to like you. My 2  
liter of Dew disappeared when my Lab went poof."   
  
She blinked for a few seconds. "Ah so that's where that bottle came   
from, It's quite a unique beverage. I'm suppose your world can't be   
all that bad if it can create something like this. I was able to   
synthesize it down and increase the caffeine count by 2.4%. But I   
digress. Time to try out my newest experiment."   
  
Pakman boggled at the thought of increasing the caffeine of the most   
powerful substance known to man. Remembering what he was doing here in   
the first place he asked, "What exactly are you going to do to me."   
  
Washu-chan explained as she was putting him in the tank, "What I'm   
going to do is mesh you and also your friend Lauren's DNA with a little   
something I've worked with before to see if it's compatible. From the   
tests I've done I'd say it probably won't kill you."   
  
"Why does this not fill me with confidence." He said as the tank began   
to fill with fluid.   
  
Washu-chan pushed a few buttons. "This may feel just a little weird."   
She pushed a few more buttons and Pakman stared out of the tank for a   
few second then threw back his head in a silent scream. After a few   
seconds a tiny trickle of red blossomed from his nose staining the   
fluid in the tank and then he mercifully passed out.  
  
Later   
-The Unknown-James Horner-  
  
Chibi-Pez stood in the tank room. Washu-chan said, "What we're going  
to do is graft a piece onto your DNA chains. After Pakman's trial  
I've refined it a little so it should be painless or at the very least  
tolerable. You ready?"   
  
Chibi-Pez looked warily at the tank. "I think so. Let's do this and   
get it over with." She stepped into the tank and it began to fill with   
fluid once again.   
  
As Washu-chan worked the controls Chibi-Pez began to feel decidedly   
weird. It almost felt as if someone was putting clothes two sizes to   
big on her and they were shrinking to fit her. The feeling intensified   
until it felt like something inside her was straining to get out and   
then it stopped and she felt normal.   
  
Although as she looked at her reflection in the glass wall of the tank,   
normal was taking a vacation. She looked to be about half her size and   
age. She thought to herself, "Well at least I'm living up to my   
nickname," before passing out in shock.  
  
When she awoke she was back in her cell and back to her normal  
'normal'. As she turned to the mirror to verify this she noticed a  
note stuck to it. She stood up with no trace of dizziness and walked  
over to the mirror. Pulling off the note she read:  
  
Sorry about the side effects. I didn't expect you to take it that  
way. I'll be by later to start training you to control it and a few  
tricks  
  
Washu-chan  
  
As she glanced at herself in the mirror she suddenly chibi-ed out.  
"This is really going to take some getting used to." She said to the  
empty room. She went to the viewscreen and tapped at it.   
  
Washu-chan appeared on the screen, looking just a bit concerned.   
"Chibi-Pez, what can I get you?"   
  
"Can you come and talk to me for a bit. This is really scaring me."   
Pez almost begged.   
  
"I'll be right over." Washu-chan said as the screen went back to   
standby mode.   
  
Chibi-Pez tried concentrating then willing herself to return to normal.   
After a few minutes of this Washu-chan appeared at the door with a   
hover-bot carrying a steaming teakettle.   
  
"Looks like it's time I started training you." She said pouring them   
both a cup of tea.  
  
  
  
"A storm is coming. Our storm."   
Dune -Atlantean Sword-  
Basil Poledouris-Conan the Barbarian Soundtrack-  
  
  
  
Pakman awoke with a throbbing headache which seamed to originate in  
his feet. He was once again on the bed in his cell, and from the way  
he felt that was a good thing.   
  
"Good, you're awake. Mom told me to apologize to you when you woke up.   
She didn't expect what happened to you." Ryoko said from her seat next   
to the bed.   
  
"Please not so loud. I feel like I just got hit by a Star Destroyer and   
it backed up over me to see if I was alright." He said in a raspy tone   
unlike his normal speaking tone.   
  
"Sorry. She also said I should give you these." She said passing him   
a pair of tablets and a glass of greenish liquid. He took the tablets   
and dry swallowed them and reached for the glass when a bright red   
light flashed from his hand and shattered the glass.   
  
"Whoa, something new has been added." He unthinkingly quoted Bugs   
Bunny. Holding up his hand he now held a beam saber like the ones   
Ryoko used on Keep in the bookstore. "Mind telling me how to turn this   
off, my dear," he said before he realized exactly who he was talking   
to and cringing like he had just signed his own death warrant.   
  
Ryoko merely smiled and said, "Concentrate on that hand and will the   
energy back into you." After a few tries he finally managed to get his   
brain under control long enough to pull in the energy. "See, my little   
pet. That wasn't so hard now was it?" Ryoko said almost purring. "As   
soon as you can do that at will we can really have some fun."   
  
Pakman wasn't sure he could deal with Ryoko's idea of 'fun' but he kept   
that thought to himself. Suddenly as if the previous thought was a   
prelude his outfit shimmered and was replaced by a tight jumpsuit-like   
outfit. It was mostly black with a red pattern that almost looked like   
flames. "Well at least it matches my wardrobe," he said in a   
disgusted tone.   
  
Ryoko's outfit shimmered for a second and she was wearing a outfit that   
matched his except hers was black flames on red. "Well, well, It looks   
like I get a pet that keeps up with me in style and looks," she said as   
she took a deep breath which made her assets prominent in Pakman's   
eyes.   
  
He thought to himself in his Captain Kirk Impression,   
"Must...Control...Hormones. Must fight...urge to... speak." As he   
thought this it was obvious to anyone with a brain exactly what he   
thought about her outfit.   
  
"You are so cute when your afraid for your life...or whatever," she   
said with a just a bit of innuendo. "I think I've tortured you enough   
for a while. See you soon Pakman." She purred as she strutted towards  
the door. He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.  
  
  
  
"Let's see you come up with a good quote for every segment"  
  
  
  
Kitten was in the 'Tank' room with Washu-chan. She stared around the  
chamber wondering just what god she had pissed off to be in this  
situation. "What I'm going to do is bond a little something to your  
DNA. The procedure will make you feel just a little strange, But it  
won't hurt," Washu-chan explained to the puzzled Kitten.   
  
"But I don't want to get spliced." Kitten whined almost crying as   
Washu's Hover-bots slipped her into the tank and it began to fill.   
  
"Soon it'll be all over and we can get down to my new research paper."  
Washu-chan said as she worked the controls. Kitten began to feel as  
if someone was running a silk cloth all over her body with a gentle  
swaying motion that actually felt good.   
  
She was just beginning to get into it when she felt...slightly   
different. Opening her eyes she got a curious shock. Her vision had   
improved enormously she could see exactly what keys Washu-chan was   
pressing on the controls but strangely she couldn't make out what was   
on the keys.   
  
It was at that point she noticed her reflection in the glass of the   
tank and it scared her a lot. She also was living up to her nickname   
she was now a prime and healthy specimen of a small Calico kitten.   
  
Washu-chan drained the tank turned around and was shocked at what she   
saw. Kitten-neko merely looked up cutely and meowed at her. "Well this  
will take some thought," she said as she picked up Kitten-neko.  
  
  
  
"The heartwarming story of a boy, his cat, and a major military  
equipment manufacturer..."  
  
  
  
After a few days of training Ryoko had Pakman's new skill up to the  
point where he could call his beamsaber up at a moments notice. "Well  
my pet, I think your ready to come to my room now," Ryoko said with  
that touch of innuendo in her voice again.   
  
Pakman brain froze for a second upon hearing this. Here he was a man   
who grew up the class clown trying to keep his mouth under control lest   
his 'master' take offense and try to kill him. "Yes, Milady." He   
Igor-ed for a second and she giggled like a schoolgirl. He rethought   
his stance at this. "Maybe I don't have to give up my personality after   
all. I just have to watch what my mouth says." Unfortunately he had   
said this out loud.   
  
"What was that? Has my little pet been all uncomfortable? Maybe he'd   
like it if I played nicer." She smiled the smile of a predator who had   
already caught her prey. Or was that the smile of the predator about   
to eat the prey?   
  
Pakman sighed and tried not to let her play him like a lute. "You were   
going to show me your room. Will we be having coffee, tea, or other?"   
He said trying just a touch of innuendo himself.   
  
She grinned like a cheshire cat turned and started for the door before   
saying, "I think you might be just what I need to shake this place up a   
bit." Pakman wasn't sure how to take that loaded statement.   
  
He followed her down a few corridors and up a few flights of stairs to   
room with an iris style door. Ryoko pressed a few keys and the door   
irised out revealing what looked like a cabin on a cruise-ship. There   
was a large bed in one corner a set of plain dressers one with a mirror   
atop along the east wall. Just beside the bed was a door and off to   
the side of the iris was yet another door.  
  
She led him into the room then splayed herself out across the bed.   
Pakman's mind and hormones fought each other over rights to his mouth.   
His mind won, for now at least. "Nice place must have killer cable," he   
said rather lamely to break the ice and fearing his hormones would jump   
in if he went anywhere else.   
  
She responded to this by stretching out and arcing her back making   
small purring noises every few seconds. Pakman's brain knew when it was   
fighting a loosing battle but pressed on valiantly. "So was there a   
reason for this sojourn to your boudoir my lady," he said with a mock   
bow.   
  
She merely smiled at him. "I just need to get in the mood," she said   
using that innuendo that sent his hormones up the scaling ladders as   
she slipped into the door beside the bed. His hormones were on the   
ramparts attacking his brain and it was obvious to the brain that all   
was lost. A few minutes passed and from the other room Ryoko called   
out, "Can you give me a hand in here?"  
  
"This is it the moment every Otaku with an ounce of hormones dreams  
of," he thought as he headed for the door, all traces of his brain   
being in control gone. It opened and he stepped in.  
  
  
  
"Don't worry, Wee One; once we start we'll be to busy to think about  
it."  
  
  
  
Pakman ducked as Ryoko's beamsaber flew at him near neck level. They  
were in a room that looked like some kind of futuristic gymnasium.  
The walls had targets set into them and the ceiling had ropes and bars  
crisscrossing it.   
  
Pakman quickly called out his own beamsaber. His brain laughed at his   
hormones dismay. This would teach those hormones to listen when the   
brain said something. He barely parried another swipe heading for his   
windpipe. "Why are you trying to kill me? Is it the naked pictures   
again? I said I was sorry," Pakman said while dodging numerous   
attacks.   
  
Ryoko merely laughed and said, "I'm not trying kill you. This is   
training. If I was trying to kill you you'd be dead."   
  
He had only one thing to say about that "Oh, you mean like last time.   
When you chased me all over town and I didn't get a scratch." Ryoko   
eyes gleamed and she went into a complicated series of slashes.   
Following Pakman's pathetic attempts to parry and dodge she swept his   
legs right out from under him and slammed her beamsaber into the ground   
inches from his head.   
  
"Your dead," she said. "Now do you understand what I said about the   
difference between training and killing you?" Ryoko asked with her   
blade still sticking by his head.  
  
"I see your point. Mind letting me up for round two?" Pakman said   
with a wry grin.   
  
Ryoko pouted her lips, "But I've got you right where I want you my   
pet."  
  
Pakman smiled and tried a move he saw in a movie. He slipped his leg   
between Ryoko's and forced hers to the side. In theory it should have   
forced her to tumble to the side. In practice she fell right on top of   
him. "Well now, if you wanted to play rough you should have told me."   
  
Pakman decided if she was gonna play it that way maybe the brain and   
the hormones could get along for a few minutes. "Why Ryoko my dear, I   
believe your trying to take advantage of me," he said and then rolled   
his heavier body mass over on top of her. "This I like. Your know   
your beautiful when your pinned down."  
  
She had a feral grin on her face. "Now who's taking advantage of who?  
And who says I'm pinned?" She asked levering him over so she was on   
top and he was on his back. "You surrender?" She said wryly.   
  
He replied, "Only if I get to be on top next time." She giggled like a   
schoolgirl again and let him up.   
  
Then she said almost in a purr, "We'll just have to see won't we. Now   
that I've got you in the mood let's try that again." Pakman couldn't   
decide if his day was going well or not. Ryoko couldn't decide how she   
was going to torment him next.  
  
  
  
"In the event of a water landing your seat cushion turns into a  
floatation device."  
  
  
  
After nearly a week of spending every waking hour training Chibi-Pez   
had her new 'talent' under a fair degree of control. She still   
spontaneously chibi-ed out from time to time. But she had changing to   
and from down. She and Washu-chan had taken the time to have a few   
girl-talk sessions and had developed an understanding. Not quite a   
friendship but not merely acquaintances.   
  
Chibi-Pez finally got up the courage to ask, "Washu-chan, can I see the   
others? I'm enjoying myself here but I miss my friends."   
  
Washu-chan looked at her carefully judging the request, "Okay, I think   
I can trust you all enough not to cause any problems. Give me a day or   
so to make some arrangements." With that she left Chibi-Pez alone in   
her cell.   
  
Washu-chan continued down the hall a ways to a cell with Kitten-neko   
asleep on a cot. She meowed at Washu as she entered the cell. "Ready   
to try again, Kitten? We have to get your control down so we can go to   
a small party," Washu-chan said to the changed girl. "What you have to   
do is keep a firm image in your head of what you look like and then try   
to fit yourself into that image."   
  
Kitten tried and it seemed to be working as she slowly assumed a more   
humanoid form. But suddenly it stopped leaving her halfway between   
beast and man. "For god's sake why me?!?!" Kitten said before   
realizing she was actually able to speak even if there was a feline   
hiss to her voice.   
  
Washu-chan took a look at her then ran some numbers through her   
computer. "Well at least your humanoid. We'll have to keep working to   
get you all the way back to normal."  
  
"Ya, lucky me I get to be a Nuku-Nuku wannabe. Why did you do this to  
me. Why did you have to experiment on us." Kitten said beginning to  
sound just a trifle more human and just a bit angry. "You bring me  
here when I wasn't even involved with the Three stooges and put me in  
your little tube and proceed to ruin my life. All I want is one simple answer. Why?"   
  
Washu-chan looked hurt for a few minutes, "If my experiments work   
they'll save hundreds of thousands of lives. If I save even one life   
because of my tests on you, Then it is all worth it."   
  
"Saving lives! Saving lives! How could turning me into a cat save   
lives? Even if it could, if you had asked me instead of just popping   
me in the tube and hitting the switch that'd be a different story. But   
you didn't even ask, you just went upon your, oh so holy, crusade to   
'save lives'. Now I get to spend the rest of my life worrying if I'm   
going to turn into a cat." Kitten ranted almost crying towards the   
end. "Please, just leave me alone for now. I need time to deal with   
this."   
  
Washu-chan gave that hurt look again. Opening her mouth to say   
something she thought better of it and left Kitten to her cell. Kitten   
merely sat staring at herself in the mirror and thinking about what was   
to become of her.  
  
  
  
-Crazy Train-Ozzy Osbourne-   
"Shall I compare thee to a rose..."  
  
  
  
Pakman was training with Ryoko for the 5th day in a row. She was a  
remarkably adept teacher of combat cause she didn't pull her attacks  
at all. You either learned to dodge and guard fast or you got hurt.  
He had spent the entire first night in a tank healing from the beating  
she had given him and despite that he wasn't resentful. She was  
teaching him to fight in such a way that he saw just where his  
weaknesses were and where his strengths lie.   
  
He realized fairly quick that he'd never be as agile as Ryoko and that   
in strength for now they were about evenly matched. He did however   
have a slight speed advantage and played it up as much as possible.   
She was also continuing her campaign to drive him crazy with sly   
remarks and innuendo. He was never certain where the joking ended and   
the reality began and it was driving him up a wall.   
  
After 3 days of training he felt confident that he could hold his own   
long enough for help to get to him. Ryoko began on the 4th day to   
teach him to throw his beamsaber like a laser. At first he had   
atrocious aim. As that day went on he began to get his bearings down.   
She had alternated between teasing and tempting him all day and by the   
end of the day he felt he must surely go mad.   
  
However on the 5th day Ryoko walked in with that gleam in her eye that   
told him it was time for action. "Well my little pet it's time for a   
quiz. Let's see just how much you've learned this week," she said   
flipping a few switches at the door. The door slammed shut and bars   
rammed across from the sides blocking it off there was no escape that   
way.   
  
"Why does this not fill me with joy," he asked. She jumped up in the   
air coming down with a wicked overhead slash. He sidestepped away only   
to catch a left cross spilling him to the ground. He rolled as she   
pelted him with force bolts.   
  
"Good idea," he said and released a few force bolts of his own which   
she casually dodged. As he finished throwing he saw her flashing in at   
him from the corner of his eye and knew that, unless he improvised   
something quick, he was spending another night in the tank. Channeling   
his energy into his leg he launched a spinning side kick at Ryoko.   
  
Unfortunately in his haste to save his own hide he put everything   
he had into it. Catching her somewhat flatfooted in the chest she   
was blasted by the stored energy and was flung across the room.   
He ran towards her quickly. "Ryoko, are you alright? Oh my god.  
Please be all right," Pak said getting on his hands and knees and  
shaking her.   
  
She groaned a bit and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Pretty neat   
trick, Pakman. I'll have to remember that one."   
  
He grabbed her in a crushing bearhug. "I thought I killed you. How did  
you survive that? I panicked and went all out there should be a hole  
in your chest." He held her tightly like she was his anchor to  
reality.   
  
"If I hadn't turned on the energy dampers for 'your' safety I would   
have a hole in my chest. Now, I know your enjoying yourself but don't   
you think we should get up off the floor. Someone might get the wrong   
ideas," she said in that tone of innuendo.   
  
He looked down at himself and let her go, almost reluctantly. "Uh...ya   
sorry about that."   
  
Ryoko looked at him thinking, "He's just so tasty when he's   
embarrassed." She said, "That there is what I was trying to drill   
into you though improvisation. If you do the unexpected it can win a   
fight real quick. Just watch out cause next time I'll see that   
coming." She smiled and to his surprise gave him a quick kiss on the   
cheek before heading over and unbarring the door. He followed her   
determined to ask her if she liked him or was merely teasing him but he   
wasn't sure if he'd like either answer.  
  
  
  
"It's not the one bullet with your name on it. It's the 20,000 or so  
odd bullets labeled 'Occupant'."  
  
  
  
Kitten sat in her cell finally human for the first time in days. She  
had a breakthrough in her head and simplified the change down to  
imagining the transformational controls from the Macross Valkyries.  
After that it became simple to keep the different forms separate. She  
even began to have just a touch of fun with it. She still wasn't  
quite ready to forgive Washu yet though. So it was with just a touch  
of dismay that Washu-chan walked into her cell.   
  
"Kitten, feel up to having a little social call tomorrow?" Washu-chan   
asked with a touch of the earlier hurt still in her eyes. "Chibi-Pez   
asked to see you and the others and I agreed since she's been so   
good."   
  
Kitten thought it over for all of a nanosecond. "Of course I am. I'd   
love to see the others. Aren't you worried that we'll try to escape   
though? I mean we are kinda here against our will."   
  
Washu-chan merely smiled and headed for the door. "You can't escape   
from here so why should I worry. See you tomorrow."  
  
  
  
"A gathering of heroes."   
-Fanfare for the Common Man-Aaron Copland-  
  
  
  
Keep stared out into the hall as Washu-chan led Chibi-Pez to his cell  
and let her in. Keep was relieved that no apparent harm had come to  
his friend. "Washu-chan here agreed to let me see all of you so she's  
going to gather everyone here," Pez said to him as Washu-chan left  
the cell.   
  
"Good...I was getting bored.....must run free....must remain...wild,"   
Keep ranted.   
  
"Whoa there quicksilver. I'm fine she did an experiment on me. I'll   
admit it scared the bejesus out of me at first but I actually like it   
so..." She said then faltered at the look he was giving her.   
  
"She experimented on you. Oh man...all I got was a snack and some bad   
ADV dubs." Chibi-Pez had nothing to say to this.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Pakman was in Ryoko's gymnasium again. "So my dear, are you going to  
pop in and see the others with me. Kind of let them see you when your  
not tossing fireballs at them," He said dodging a fireball.   
  
"Maybe. I think I like it just the two of us. They might get in the   
way of that."   
  
Pakman had reached the point where the question couldn't be held back   
any longer "Ryoko...Do you like me? You seem to be throwing more and   
more innuendo at me and I can't be sure."   
  
She looked at him with a faint smile "I don't know...you intrigue me.   
You interest me, and I rarely get interested. Now let's turn this   
around. Do you like me or do I scare you?"   
  
Pakman turned red at this. "You do scare me, heck I scare me. But yes,   
I liked you before I really knew you actually existed." He made small   
laugh. "Why do you think I had that manga that started this whole mess   
in the first place?" Ryoko actually blushed for a split second at that   
but would say no more.  
  
"Come on your going to be late to the class reunion." She walked him  
towards the door. Once again leaving him feeling unsure of just how   
she felt.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Keep and Chibi-Pez sat in near silence as Washu-chan brought Kitten  
into the cell and left. Kitten ran up and hugged Pez and started  
crying. "I'm so glad you're all right. I was so scared."   
  
Keep felt twinge for a second that she was worried about him too and   
was about to say something when Ryoko showed up with Pakman in tow.   
"Hail, hail, the gangs all here," he said jokingly to the others upon   
entering the cell. The girls ran up and hit him with a hug as well.   
"Why the tears Kitten? Everything is o.k." he said to her.   
  
Ryoko stayed at the door while this happened and Keep glared at her.   
"Why is she still here?" he asked Pakman. "I'm still here cause I   
wanted to apologize for chasing you all over your home." Ryoko said   
with just a touch of anger at him. She then turned on her heel and   
left saying nothing more. Even Keep felt like an ass after giving her   
an attitude when she was just trying to apologize.   
  
Pakman looked at the others with a wicked grin and said, "Wanna see   
what I can do?" Everyone except Keep looked at him like he had grown   
an extra head.   
  
Keep said in his best Sam Kennison impersonation "Do it! Do it! OH   
oh!" Pakman gave them a wicked smirk and took his right hand turned it   
palm upwards and produced his energy blade. Keep did a double-take and   
said, "But does it make julienne fries?"   
  
Pakman continued by flashing into his battle armor, "It even comes with   
the fashion upgrade. Only $19.95 while supplies last."   
  
Chibi-Pez took one look and said, "Watch this." And  
proceeded to go chibi. Pakman and Keep both oohed and aahed while  
Kitten was just plain shocked.   
  
Pakman and Keep shared a glance and then said in unison, "Nice to see   
ya finally living up to your nick."  
  
Kitten looked at them in disgust and said rather plaintively "She  
ain't the only one." The three others in the room turned to stare at  
her in concern at this.   
  
"What do you mean.?" Keep asled walking over and placing an arm on her   
shoulder. He suddenly found himself touching air as Kitten turned   
herself into the little calico kitten.  
  
Kitten-neko Meowed cutely up at the others before switching up to her  
half-cat form, "This is what Washu did to me."   
  
Keep took this totally the wrong way. "That is so cool. Finally a cat   
that you don't have to clean the litterbox."   
  
Kitten's look at Keep spoke volumes. "Ha ha. Laugh it up. I don't see   
you changing into god knows what."   
  
Keep merely smiled and said, "That's because Washu isn't finished with   
me yet. Lemme explain."  
  
Flashback  
  
Washu-chan was standing at her controls as Keep floated in a tank.  
"Very interesting. You my friend are a latent Newtype." Upon hearing   
this Keep's eyes flew open in the fluid base of the tank with a look   
that said, "Say what!" Washu-chan correctly read his look "Ah I see  
you've heard of it. Well let's see if we can open that up shall we."  
  
She flipped a few switches and pressed a button on her extradimensional   
keyboard and a pulsating green light began washing through the tank.   
As the lights began strobing faster Keep began to feel weird. Then he   
began to hurt all over. Blood began to stream from his nose staining   
the water. Washu noted this and flipped off the light.   
  
Keep, barely conscious looked over at Washu-chan as if asking what went   
wrong. "Your body isn't strong enough to do the treatment all at once.   
We're going to have to do it in stages," she said to Keep through the   
tank's speakers as the fluid began to drain.  
  
Present  
  
"At my last session she said it'd only take a few more sessions to  
open my power up to full." Keep finished explaining to the three.  
  
Pakman held up his hand. "Just one question... What's a Newtype?"  
  
Keep looked at him like he was joking. "You've never seen Gundam? Okay  
for the benefit of those who live in a cave I'll explain." He took a  
deep breath and began "Okay well, Newtypes are essentially space  
adapted humans. They have prescience (limited ability to see the  
future, usually only good in combat), long distance telepathy, and  
hyper enhanced reflexes as well as being unaffected by motion sickness  
and zero-g disorders."   
  
Pakman smirked. "This from the person who called me a space cadet for   
trying to get into NASA from the Navy."  
  
Kitten looked at the males playing 'mine is better than yours is' and  
said, "Well, you two can enjoy playing guinea pig all your life for the  
mad doctor but I want to get out of here and find some way back home."  
  
Keep looked at Kitten and said, "I have a plan to escape from these  
cells. Unfortunately that doesn't get us anywhere without some way  
out of this lab. I know I sound like I'm enjoying myself, but I don't  
plan on making this my career."   
  
Chibi-Pez said, "I'll see if I can't get Washu to let us do this every   
week. That way if someone does come up with something we'll be able to   
plan ahead."   
  
Pakman piped in at this. "Hey Keep, I think I might be able to solve   
that problem. But I'll have to get back to you on that. So now that   
that's all settled how bout we ping Washu and see if we can't all sit   
down and have a bite to eat."   
  
Chibi-Pez grinned wickedly "There's Pakman for you. Always thinking   
with his stomach." This earned a smile from Kitten. Which in Pez's   
eyes made the whole thing worth it.  
  
  
  
"This Space left Blank for legal purposes"   
-Happy Together-The Turtles-  
  
  
  
Pakman had just finished another training session with Ryoko. She was  
teaching him to access his flight power. As it was he could barely  
get off the ground and it would be awhile before he could even think  
about fighting airborne. "Say, oh famous space pirate, I've been here  
almost 2 weeks now when do you plan to introduce me to Ryo-oh-ki?"  
Pakman begged, wondering where the cabbit could be.   
  
"She's resting up from making the Kessel Run with me a few weeks   
back." Ryoko explained. "She should be up to visitors by now. How   
about we get a shower and head over."   
  
Pakman had to hurriedly change the subject before his Hormones could   
assault his brain again at the thought of Ryoko showering. He hadn't   
had any hormone assaults for a few days and was hoping to keep it that   
way till he was sure of Ryoko's ideas on that subject. "Ok, let me hit   
the kitchen first and grab a change of clothes."   
  
She took him by the kitchen on the way to his cell and he grabbed a leg   
of some unidentifiable animal that like the cliché tasted like chicken   
and a few carrots, the only vegetable here he recognized. "Okay now   
for a quick trip to the cell for an equally quick shower." Pakman had   
said he wanted to meet the cabbit and he meant it.   
  
Ryoko opened the cell with a press of the button and let him in. "Be   
back in a few. Have to go slip into something a little more   
comfortable," Ryoko said impishly.   
  
"If you get any more comfortable, I'm gonna have a stroke." Pakman   
said failing to keep his hormones away from the speech center of his   
brain.   
  
Ryoko gave him that sultry look she always got when about to say   
something he'd regret. "Oh we wouldn't want that now would we. I'll   
just go and wash the grime off 'every last inch of me' and be right   
back." She turned to go tossing a glance over her shoulder at him.   
She grinned to herself as his face blushed like Chernobyl melting down.   
  
Pakman regained control of himself only after she was out of sight   
thinking. "Man I wish I knew when she was being serious and when she   
was teasing." Pakman wondered to himself what he had done to earn the  
pleasure/pain rollercoaster he was currently riding. He hurried into  
his cell and showered and was pulling a shirt over his head when Ryoko   
returned.   
  
"Well, well, well, what have we here." She said as he finished pulling   
the shirt over his chest. Now to be honest, he wasn't exactly the most   
gifted physique on this or any world. He sported a 6 pack short quite   
a few cans. About the only noteworthy thing about him would be the   
fact that his legs were toned like a bodybuilder in complete contrast   
to the rest of his body.   
  
Pakman went into his Crocodile Hunter Impression. "We have here an   
average example of a male of the species Homo Sapiens. See how his   
face reddens as he makes a complete ass of himself. This is a   
defensive tactic in Homo Sapiens which usually stops them from   
repeating embarrassing acts. Watch as it tries to cover it's   
embarrassment with sub-par comedy. Crikey! What a fascinating creature   
indeed Homo Sapiens is."   
  
Ryoko grinned wickedly and said, "Fascinating indeed. I must take good   
care of my Homo Sapien. Wouldn't want it to become 'endangered'."   
Pakman sighed. He was losing more and more of these verbal by-plays.   
  
"Well let's go." Ryoko said keying open the door. She walked beside   
him leading him down an unfamiliar hall. She took him down a flight of  
stairs to a sealed door. Keying it open on the panel beside it she  
led him inside.   
  
"Miya, miya miya," came a meowing noise from a shaded corner of the   
massive room.   
  
"Ryo-chan come here you have a guest." Out from the shadows came Ryo-  
oh-ki the cabbit. To a normal person this half-cat/half-rabbit would   
be a curiosity. To him it was simple another thing to like about this   
strange adventure he and his friends had embarked on. Ryo-oh-ki meowed   
up at him speculatively for a second before sniffing the air a few   
times.   
  
Suddenly the cabbit dived up on his shoulder and started rooting around   
in his shirt. "Miya, miya miya miya?" Ryoko looked at him wondering   
what was up with this man and her little friend. Ryo-oh-ki looked at   
him, almost begging, and he reached into his inside shirt pocket and   
pulled out 3 small carrots he had smuggled from the kitchen.   
"Miya!" the cabbit meowed happily and pounced on the offered treat.   
  
Ryoko smiled at him, "I see you already know the way to her heart."   
Ryo-oh-ki practically inhaled them and then looked at him as if asking   
'please sir, may I have some more'.   
  
"Sorry that's all I could get." He said and the cabbit gave a sniff   
and meowed painfully. "I'll bring more with me next time I visit."  
  
"So Ryo-chan you feeling better yet?" Ryoko asked.   
  
"Miya!" Ryo-oh-ki meowed what sounded to Pakman like an affirmative   
and nodded her head.   
  
Pakman took a moment to look around the room and noticed that this   
appeared to be a hanger. The inklings of a plan began to form in his   
twisted little brain. Finding a suitably impressive vehicle he asked,   
"Hey Beautiful, what is this baby when she's at home?". He stared   
lovingly at this streamlined craft.  
  
"That is mom's new experimental heavy assault shuttle 'Magic's Pawn'.  
It has enough weapons to start a small war and probably win. That's  
why the security system in this ship is so strong." Pakman was  
slightly peeved at this.   
  
Suddenly over the speakers Washu called "Ryoko, Leave him with the Ryo-  
chan for a few and come back up to deck 'A' and throw the helical   
generator to 9."   
  
Ryoko went to the Console at the side and said, "Are you sure you want   
him left alone, In the hanger no less?"   
  
Washu responded a few second later. "There is no way he could bypass   
the security on those ships. He'll be fine for a few seconds."   
  
Ryoko shrugged, looked at Ryo-oh-ki and said, "Now you two play nice,"   
before heading for the door. As she was walking away Pakman noticed   
she had not logged out and hurriedly walked over to the wall console.   
  
"I may not be able to bypass the shuttles security but I can bypass   
security on an open account." He hurriedly accessed the security   
countermeasures on the 'Magic's Pawn'. Washu was only half right.   
There was no way he could bypass the security alone. He hurried and   
logged out and walked back over to Ryo-oh-ki. "Keep this a secret and   
I'll bring you a basket of carrots next time."   
  
Ryo-oh-ki did a backflip "Miya? Miya!" The cabbit was still nodding   
her head when Ryoko returned.  
  
  
  
"This mission, should you choose to accept it..."   
-Imperial March Rage-John Williams, Peter McConnel, Jeff Kliment-  
  
  
  
A few days later Washu-chan again appeared and led them to Keep's  
cell. After she left Pakman stood up and checked that she was gone.  
"Ok everyone. If Keep can get us all out of our cells, I have a plan  
to get off this station."   
  
Everyone turned to Keep. "First I have a question for you. I noticed   
that there is an access code to open the doors from the inside of my   
cell but it's just a button press from outside. Is it the same with   
all of your cells?" Pakman thought a second and nodded.   
  
Chibi-Pez said, "I noticed the same thing. I was gonna say something   
about it if noone else had any good ideas." Kitten also nodded.   
  
"Okay that makes it easy. Washu doesn't realize I've memorized the   
passcode to my cell. I just need you to give me directions to all of   
your cells. Then it'll be up to Pakman," Keep said with a short laugh.   
  
Pakman grinned and said, "Then we go tonight. Hey Pez, I need a favor   
from you. I need you to make up an excuse to get a small basket of   
carrots from Washu." She looked at him quizzically but nodded. They   
all prodded Pakman as to his Plan but he merely smiled and said, "It's   
a secret." After a big meal they all returned to there cells to   
prepare.  
  
That Night  
  
Keep waited until the station lights dimmed showing simulated night  
and keyed open his door. He stealthily crept down the darkened halls  
following the directions from earlier to Pakman's cell. Keying open  
the door he found Pakman decked out in his battlesuit.   
  
Pakman whispered to Keep, "Thought it best to be prepared." Keep   
smiled and led towards Kittens cell. She was standing by the door   
watching the hallway. Keep keyed open the door and she stepped   
silently into the hall. The trio then headed for Chibi-Pez's cell and   
let her out. She was holding a small basket with a towel over it.   
  
She whispered to Pakman, "Mind telling me what the carrots are for?"   
  
Pakman replied quietly, "Just keeping a promise."   
  
Keep then looked at Pakman "Now what's your plan, oh mysterious one?"   
  
He replied conspiratorially "I didn't want to say in your cell earlier   
cause I believe we were being listened in on." Three sets of eyes   
tracked to him immediately.   
  
Keep said almost too loud, "If you thought that why did you let us talk  
about the plan out loud? You trying to get caught?"   
  
Pakman grinned and continued, "Why? Because Washu was expecting us to   
come up with something. She is a genius and they have one historical   
weak point. They constantly underestimate people with less intelligence   
than they. She thinks there's no way we can access any of the ships in   
the hangar. I'll explain the rest when we get to the hangar."   
  
This time Pakman led the way as the others had never been to the hangar   
bay. He led them down from 'A' deck to the hanger door and said, "Keep   
isn't the only one who can memorize a passcode." He then proceeded to   
key the hangar door open.   
  
"Miya?" came Ryo-oh-ki's meowing from nearby.  
  
"It's just me Ryo-chan. I brought your basket." Pakman said nudging  
Chibi-Pez to set down her hoard. Ryo-oh-ki meowed happily and dived  
into the basket. Pakman led them to the gangplank of 'Magic's Pawn'  
  
"Now comes the hard part. There is a multi-layer security on the  
ship. Chibi-Pez your up. I accessed the security protocols for the  
ship earlier when Ryoko neglected to log out at that terminal over  
there. Only a Child can walk on the gangplank when the airlock is  
secured. Washu-chan seems to have forgotten she's not the only person  
who can do the chibi gag."   
  
Keep snickered as Pez chibi-ed out and walked up the gangplank and   
opened the airlock before switching back. That was Washu's first major   
mistake thinking she didn't need a passkey for the airlock because only   
she could open it.   
  
"Kitten your up. Turn kitten if you would this next one is a tricky   
trap."   
  
They all entered the Quarterdeck of the shuttle. Pakman jumped as far   
forward in the room as he could and stuck his arm out towards the far   
wall. Just as he leaped the airlock cycled shut. With a lurch all the   
occupants of the room were grabbed by mechanical arms around there   
legs. Keep and Pez not expecting this fell over. There was a short   
pulse and they found themselves locked into position. There was a   
green button blinking on the wall about a foot from Pakman's arm reach.  
Kitten-neko however was not grabbed.   
  
"Kitten come over here and climb up on my back. The Arms are   
programmed to grab anyone touching the floor. But to avoid grabbing at   
Ryo-oh-ki and smaller creatures it's programmed not to pester anything   
under 15 pounds."   
  
She walked hesitantly across the floor and scaled him as easily as she   
would have a set of stairs.   
  
"Now this may hurt. See that green button all you have to do is press   
it and the arms retract and this security system goes offline till   
reset in the cockpit."   
  
Kitten-neko looked at him and fearlessly jumped at the button nailing   
it and sliding down the wall slightly dazed. The others felt the   
stasis in there limbs release as the hands let go and melted back into   
the floor.   
  
They all stepped through a door into the next room. They appeared to   
be in the cockpit. Keep gave a whoop and dove into the Pilot's chair   
"Now this is neat toy...and it's not even my birthday." Unfortunately   
the ship failed to do anything as he madly pressed buttons.   
  
"This last security measure is for me. To start the main computer and   
engines you have to press that button on the ceiling there.   
Unfortunately you can't throw something at it cause it only responds if   
an actual live finger is registered. Easy right? Wrong! It also hits   
whoever presses it with a static charge that if they were touching   
anything else on the hull would instantly vaporize them. But we can   
fix that."  
  
Pakman cinched up his face in concentration and floated straight up to  
the button and pressed it. "I may not be able to fly, but I can do up  
pretty good." He dropped to the floor as the ship came to life around  
them. "Keep, you're the super space cadet, pilot us out of here."  
Pakman said to the bemused man at the controls.   
  
Keep had almost no idea what he was doing but he 'felt' which controls   
he should use and soon they blasted out of the Hangar and away. As the   
Station faded from the rear screen the door to the Quarterdeck opened.   
  
Ryoko with a wicked grin walked into the room with Ryo-oh-ki on her   
shoulder and winked at Pakman. Almost immediately everyone asked in   
unison "What are you doing here?"   
  
She turned to Pakman and said, "You remember what I said. I must take   
good care of my Homo Sapien. I wouldn't want it to become   
'endangered.'"  
  
  
  
End Chapter 1 


End file.
